Appeasing Terrorists

WooHoo! It’s marketing time again in the White House! The recent attempt to rename the conflict in Iraq and Afghanistan took an interesting turn. After learning that Rummy was referring to the conflict as the “Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism”, Bush has set the record straight. Claiming that he didn’t approve the name change, he reiterated that the official name of the conflict is “The War on Terror”.

And I don’t blame him. He’s made it clear that he’s a “War President” and that war will be the legacy he’ll leave us. He’s about bombing, killing and maiming, not about struggles. And had the name change gone through, he would’ve been known as the, “Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism President”. Or maybe the “Struggling President” for short.

I personally think the moniker, “War President” is very apt and descriptive. Getting people killed seems to be his forte. There’s not much else he’s accomplished except maybe to raise graft to all time record levels.

So if we’re going to be accurate in our monikers, I think the “Flypaper Strategy” should be reexamined. I don’t see how the strategy in Iraq resembles flypaper. When using flypaper, the flies land on it and die without causing anyone any additional harm. If Iraq were like this, then terrorists would go there and cleanly commit suicide with neat little confessions in their pockets. They wouldn’t cause any more harm than is necessary.

But the conflict in Iraq isn’t like that at all. I’d call it the “Sacrificial Maiden Strategy”. After all, we’re sending troops to Iraq to be killed, to appease the terrorists so they won’t come to the US and kill civilians. So it’s more like sacrificing maidens to the dragon, so he won’t destroy your farms and villages.

So really, it’s an appeasement strategy. It’s a diplomatic strategy, in which we trade the lives of soldiers for a temporary peace. The real goal isn’t to defeat the terrorists. It’s just to keep them appeased.

But this dragon is growing and getting hungrier. Over time we are finding that we have to sacrifice an increasing number of soldiers to the dragon. How long can afford to feed the dragon? And what happens when we quit feeding it? Will the dragon get hungry and lay waste to our farms and villages?

Perhaps this tale will have a story book ending? How would you end this tale of marketing and dragons?